Though images of ball gags and bondage immediately come to mind (much like the kinky interlude in Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction), the concept behind the definition of fetish has been avidly misconstrued by the general public’s ignorance or adamant charge to remain incurious.
Trekking down an inquisitive avenue, commonly viewed as human sexuality’s darker alleyway, I found out and assure I’m not alone here, I had inadvertently meshed many separate ideas within the realm of sexuality into a darkly lit, glob-like, stereotype of massive proportions.
First and foremost was a trip to the psychology department, where the didactic minds of graduate students flourish with sensual energy. Two graduate students here greeted me with open arms and better yet, vivacious, open minds.
One of them remarked on our misinterpretation of what a fetish is, “I think that lack of knowledge causes people to associate S&M with this … kinky, chains, chips, dips and whips.”
Fetish, translated as ‘an object with the powers of magic’ according to The Kinsey Institute New Report On Sex, is actually a moniker that defines items absolutely necessary in order for the user to get there. Falling under the super-category Paraphilia (latin roots para – “outside the usual” and philia – “love”), fetish paraphilia is considered a subcategory within a sexual umbrella that deviates from what one graduate student would describe as the statistical norm.
This paraphilia focuses more on an object of lust or what the Kinsey Institute pens as a “token”. For instance, one of my interviewees discussed how something as simple as shoes can be a sexual token that an individual compulsively reaches for, if their sexuality embraces fetish paraphilia. This item would then be necessary to use during sex with a partner and/or during masturbation.
Fetish paraphilia is relatively rare, considering that all paraphilias are inherently uncommon, but not unheard of.
Common tokens posited by the Kinsey Institute that act as lusty luxuries among heterosexual men include but are not limited to, “women’s panties, bras, and stockings and other garments …”, as well as certain parts of the female body “or more often, pictures of these objects or body parts”.
Fetishes are not limited to just an item either, “taboo smells or body excretions (such as soiled undergarments, feces, or urine as in coprophilia or urophilia”) may also stimulate someone beyond belief.
Considering that sexuality is entirely subjective and spans a wide range of interests, this should not come as a surprise.
Remember, paraphilias require a necessity of a certain item or behavior in order for an individual to be sexually satisfied; “necessity” of course being the key word. What has happened, unfortunately, in our sexually repressive American civilization is a blurring of the lines, so to speak.
Paraphilias have unfortunately been lumped together and what repression has done is left us dumbfounded and confused, lumping the term fetish with the definition of the sadomasochistic urge known as predatory paraphilia. “When feeling ‘lust’ can be indulged in only when sex or an object is stolen or taken by force.”
Let’s not blur the lines any longer, it ruins the way in which we communicate within one another and makes us look sexually illiterate.
Further information can be found in the library here on campus, by the way, if you have sexual urges or questions that seem confusing, but are too embarrassed to ask.
The University also offers a human sexuality course with very talented behavioral, neural and social psychologists who can help you understand these feelings, sometimes even on a one-on-one basis.
Furthermore, there is also the option of the free counseling sessions right outside of campus if you’re having confusion of any nature and this is causing stress within you or between you and your partner.
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