Falcon Screeches for April 10 2012
April 9, 2012
Day two of the weekend and I was stranded on campus with very limited food choices. Dear University, not everyone goes home on holiday weekends. Your “special” hours are not cutting it for me. We need some sort of 24/7 food place on campus. I’m not hoofing it to Taco Bell just to satiate my hunger.
—CRAVINGS ON CAMPUS
I’m pretty sure my roommates try to give me the worst shower experience in the world by using every droplet of hot water. I swear they know my workout routine, so they decided to shower right before I walk through the door. That’s OK. While I’m taking my ice bath, I’m cursing your names!
—COLD FEET
How hard is it to get to class on time? Seriously? It’s about time we grow up and get punctual. When you walk in 25 minutes late, do you honestly think you’re going to get much out of the lecture? Just don’t come in if it’s that hard to get up on time. Save the rest of us that awkward stare-down you get from the professor.
—TARDY SAUCE
You know that moment when you’re walking and someone merges over right in front of you? Yes, that sucks. But it’s even worse when that person slows down and starts texting. Just … don’t do that. Get off the sidewalk and daydream. Don’t congest pedestrian traffic.
—WARNING FROM A WALKER
There seems to be a recent spike in girls who wear yoga pants, but how many of these girls are actually practicing yoga? Probably about, um, four percent. Yoga pants are just a step above wearing sweatpants to class. Quit being lazy, girls. Pick out a sundress or something.
—LAZY WARDROBE
What are we in, 5th grade? Why do we need doctor’s notes to get dismissed from a class? Don’t try and go to the Health Center because they won’t give you one! Suppose you’re vomiting your guts out, and it’s not from alcohol poisoning, then you’ll have no luck when it comes to getting out of class.
—HEALTH CENTER WOES
So, I’m planning my finals week schedule and I realized I have an exam on Friday. Why does our University hate us? Why would it punish us by scheduling exams so late? My only other exam is on Monday! Why do I have to stick around so long? I say we just boycott that final finals day.
—SLUGGISH SCHEDULE
I find it hilarious that Instagram was bought out by Facebook. Actually, I love this news. Oh, you take pictures using one of the pre-programmed filters from Instagram? That doesn’t make you a photographer. I’m tired of seeing pictures of sandwiches in sepia tone on Facebook and Twitter. Hopefully this news will make Instagram lose its popularity.
—EAT IT, HIPSTERS