“Wheelman” is one of the most boring and bland movies I have watched in recent memory. In the 80 minutes that “Wheelman” drags on — and I say “drag” because it feels like five minutes are actually an hour — there are only five characters that appear on the screen at a given time, and they are all terrible. I don’t know how this movie was allowed to be released, because it’s laughable how boring the movie is.

    The characters and the story are the main reasons that the movie is bad. Frank Grillo plays the titular Wheelman, his real name not stated. The main premise of the movie is that Grillo’s character is a getaway driver who has to drive again after spending three years in jail. If this premise sounds familiar, that’s because it is. I feel like I’ve watched this kind of story many times before.

    The main problems with the story in “Wheelman” are two-fold. The first is that even though this type of story has been seen before, there are ways to make such a plot interesting. However, “Wheelman” doesn’t add anything new, making it just the same thing again. I don’t think this kind of story is interesting anymore by itself, so this story is as bland as can be. The second problem with the story goes hand-in-hand with the character problem, as the story never leaves Grillo’s character. He is on screen the whole movie. This wouldn’t be a problem if Wheelman weren’t such an unlikable person. The story tries to make him more likable by giving him a daughter, but all that does is make me realize how by-the-numbers the story is.

    The characters in “Wheelman” are really a travesty. Grillo is an insufferable nuisance to listen to, and he’s on screen the whole movie. I hate every single person in the whole movie. The movie doesn’t give any character any development and doesn’t make me want to like them, so why would I?

    Another problem I have with the characters, and the whole movie in general, is that every other word said is a cuss word, as though there is one found in every line of dialogue. This kind of dialogue for the movie feels unnecessary: it doesn’t make the movie feel more real, it makes it feel like the movie is trying to be cool, which makes the movie even worse.

    “Wheelman” is a dumpster fire. I hated every single minute of it. It’s not one of those movies that is a funny laugh because of how bad it is. “Wheelman” is just boring and terrible. It has been added to the list of some of the worst movies I have ever watched. Don’t even think about watching it.