Ending a toxic friendship, moving forward, can be difficult

Taylor Freyer and Taylor Freyer

Recently, one of my oldest friends reached out to me to meet her for dinner. Although I agreed to meet, I was regretting that decision entirely as the day and time became closer and closer.

I had this dreadful feeling of seeing her. I knew exactly how our meet would go. We would sit down, talk about her and how much life is unfair to her and that’s it. I wouldn’t hear from her again until life is unfair to her once more.

See, that’s the thing—our friendship revolved around her and her life only. I would hear about some of the good, but mostly the bad. It was like each time I would hear from her, I felt her sucking the life out of me.

As I was trying to understand my awful feelings about her, I began to realize that our friendship had become too toxic to repair.

A toxic friend, for me personally, is someone who doesn’t understand that a friendship is a two-way street. It’s someone who is so self-absorbed that it causes the friendship to become one-sided. It’s someone who drains you emotionally and mentally and is flat-out no good for you.

Although I was able to understand that our friendship was toxic, a part of me just couldn’t let it go.

She has been my friend for over 15 years. She’s been around for all of my highs and many of my lows. Although it’s mostly bad times lately, I can still remember all the good times we had.

I just can’t see myself not being friends with her, but when is enough really enough? When will I finally stop putting myself through this?

I’ve asked myself this question plenty of times, because each time I find it extremely hard to let go of our friendship: but lately, I feel like I’m constantly compromising my own happiness for hers and that’s not what I should be doing.

In any relationship, including friendships, it’s important to understand that there will always be some ups and some downs and there will be times where one person will need the support and love more than the other, but it should always be a mutual giving.

A healthy friendship allows both people to change and grow together. If your friendship seems to be holding you down and draining you from your happiness, maybe the friendship has truly run its course.

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