Falcon Screech

How are you gonna run an offer for a free hot dog, then tell us you can’t honor it because you ran out of hot dogs? I want my hot dog!

— #FUN ON A BUN

It was pretty sweet how Bowling Green decided to become the setting for Silent Hill this weekend. Seriously, what’s up with the fog? I literally couldn’t see 15 feet in front of me. That made driving one heck of a task and evading traffic even harder.

— FOG ALERT

Why do professors even bother having class on the last day before break? Come on. You know half the class isn’t going to show up, but let me guess, you’re going to give us a quiz just to screw the people who dipped out, aren’t you? You better give us some extra credit or something.

— OUT OF HERE

It really upsets me when people get too close when you’re in the bathroom. Guy code states that you take the urinal furthest away from the other guy, not the one next to them. I’m not a shy guy, but when I can hear you breathing, I have a hard time getting going.

— TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

To the Kent State fans sitting in the student section: You’re lucky you didn’t get hit. Not by me, but by the crazy falcon fans out there. Do you honestly think that you can sit there, clap during a turnover and expect us not to say anything?

— KENT PICK THE RIGHT SEAT

Listen up, buttercup. You’re not my girlfriend. You have no bearing on what I do with my life or which relationships I pursue. If I want to dance with someone downtown, I’m going to. Glare all you want. Tweet all you want. You’re not going to stop me because I’m not yours!

— CONTROL FREAK

How many times have you been at the Rec and you catch someone staring at you? Now, think about how many times you look back and they are STILL STARING AT YOU? I’ve had ‘the thousand-mile stare’ while bench pressing before, but if you meet someone’s gaze, make sure you’re looking elsewhere during your next break.

— STARING PROBLEM