Falcon Screech

I despise fans of teams who bandwagon. Why would you cheer for a school that you do not attend, let alone a team from a state/city you don’t live near? We have great teams here at the University. Cheer for them! Don’t forget about the teams in your own backyard.

— GO FALCONS

You know your roommates are bad when your 4.0 GPA starts to slip below a 3.5. I can honestly say that this is your fault. Your dramatics, your drunken antics and your constant bickering is causing me so much stress. I can’t keep mediating for you all.

— MOVING OUT

I’m hip to all the new apps, but I don’t quite understand Snapchat. Do you seriously think that your pictures are deleted after just a few seconds? First off, people can easily screenshot your snapchats. Second, these pictures are probably being saved on some database out there. Wait until Anonymous or 4chan gets ahold of them!

— THINK BEFORE YOU SNAP

Let me tell you how stoked I am for this Monday morning exam right after break! There’s nothing more exciting than studying all during break and not getting to enjoy family time because I’m too stressed out over this test. Your awesome, prof!

— SARCASTIC SCIENCE MAJOR

It should be an extreme indication that I am not interested in you when I pull away from you when you grab my hand. Another reinforcement of that statement is when I made you pull over and let me drive because you were trying to impress me with your driving. My life is worth more than your ego.

— LEGGO YOUR EGO

Thanksgiving is not about sales, ya’ll. It’s about spending time with people who matter to you, not the people who are just as insane as you and want to stand in line for “the best deal ever!” Unless you’re lining up outside a store with your grandma and Uncle Joe, you should head back home, get some sleep and spend the day with them.

— THE DARKEST OF FRIDAYS