Out of the three fortune cookies I had sitting in front of me one night, the first I broke open said, “All your hard work will pay off.”
While I shouldn’t be looking into fortune cookies for something to get me out of the sudden funk I was in my last night on campus for this semester, I thought about everything I had done.
I have been able to take a few steps forward with my life, there have been steps backwards that I have had to work around, but that’s behind me now.
But these things weigh down on me, along with seeing the better parts of my life.
My grades aren’t stellar and I am well aware of that. It’s something that I will improve in the upcoming semester, with a few other things, like not running myself ragged when I don’t have to.
But why did this quote hit me?
I’m not sure. Besides, I often don’t see that I’m working hard on something unless I’m told. I don’t know if that is normal, but it’s what happens.
When people don’t tell me I’m doing a good job or working hard, I have terrible self-doubt. I wonder if I’m doing the right thing or if I’m not, I don’t think what I’m doing is what I should be doing.
The biggest relief I ever get is when I’m being told that I’m doing a good job. While it seems like I want the attention, I don’t. I just want a little feedback.
While I have my self-doubt moments where I wonder why I’m even doing what I’m doing, I know somewhere out there thinks it’s a good job. I think that’s enough to keep me going while I push forward to the future.
Don’t let the lack of feedback scare you, but keep going. If needed, it’s always possible to tweak what you have to. That’s something I need to tell myself a bit more.
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